Zooey or Elizabeth?

As per my previous post, those who have read it will know I LOVE Elizabeth Taylor. I love her talent, her beauty, and her flippin allure. She sure knew how to make men fall at her feet. So often do I find myself wishing I had that kind of confidence, that kind of power of people... oh the things i could do with power. MWUAHAHAHAHAH! aaaaah and there it is, the reason I can NEVER be like her: i'm a raging nerd. I often describe myself to new acquaintences as a "less-endearing Zooey Deschanel." DOrky, goofy, quirky, and doesn't really care. Well, this weekend I went to my first nightclub and the experience has given me pause... a chance to re-examine my interactions with the opposite sex.  I mean, I didn't dress the part of quirky girl (this time, anyway) and I attempted the femme fatale persona, but it doesn't always work for me. I suppose I am comfortable with the adorkable chic. I'd even go so far as to say i quite like it.  Yet, as elizabeth taylor is an idol of mine, I do wish I could pull off the cool, sexy type. But when the opportunity presents itself, I get really uncomfortable and choke. NOt only do I get uncomfortable, I get pissed. I HATE being checked out. Correction: i hate being OVERTLY checked out. I admit, when someone makes a comment a part of me is mildly flattered( are you happy Jace Stephenson?) but when it boils down to it, I'd rather be admired for a second, and then have a guy make some attempt at gettting to know me in a respectful way (and preferably, in a respectable establishment, not a gross nightclub). At the same time, why is it so wrong to flaunt what you got? Can't i just take a compliment? Elizabeth Taylor knew how good she looked, and used it to her advantage. Yet when I am presented with this sort of situation, i feel ridiculous and objectified. I don't want my looks to be the basis of someone's interest. Especially a half-drunk loser who hasn't a respectable thought in his mind. How can I reconcile these two frames of mind? How can a blend the Zooey with the Elizabeth? A zoolizabeth. I have to stop being such a dork or I will end up being devoured by my 37 cats. But I refuse to be objectified. Is there another way to look at it? As good ol' liz taylor said, “People who know me well, call me Elizabeth. I dislike Liz.” but she also said "big girls need big diamands." Man, she was wise.


ps, this is me and my cuz on the night out (im the short one... and she wouldn't let me wear my nerd glasses.)